Ch 16 - Sleepwalker

You left me nothing but a broken soul
An empty hole, memories bleeding
And all our friends they say to let you go
But they don't know You're still breathing
Dead or awake, you said you'd always be
Right with me
Asleep or alive you swore you'd never leave
But I can see you

“Sleepwalker” - Alien Ant Farm

I sat in the leather chair, stunned. I’d heard what he said but had a hard time grasping that it was the truth, that I hadn’t heard him wrong.

“Can you repeat that?” I stammered, furrowing my brow.

He laughed. “I said someone paid your restitution. We had a conference yesterday about your case and your caseworker notified us that your restitution had been paid in full last week.”

I shook my head. “I don’t understand…” I trailed off, trying to make sense of it. Someone had paid my restitution for me? It was a large amount of money and I figured it would take me years to be able to pay it all off. I quickly scanned through the people I knew, wondering who could’ve possibly done something like that, when it struck me.

I snorted, a combination of anger and amusement and gratitude surging through me.

Dr. Nelson cocked at eyebrow at my response but I just snickered, shaking my head.

“Do you know who paid it Isabella?” he asked. I nodded.

“I’m guessing it’s possibly the same person who paid for your lawyer, correct? That was also anonymous and a large amount of money that no one involved directly could’ve afforded.” I nodded again… I’d always suspected the Cullen’s paid for my lawyer.

“Who do you think it was?” he asked after a moment.

I hesitated, wondering if he’d even believe me. “Edward,” I said after a moment.

He dropped his pen and stared at me, shock crossing his features. Panic started setting in, his reaction scaring me a bit. Did he think I was losing it again? I mean, I’d just told him that I thought my ex boyfriend, who abandoned me and told me he wanted nothing to do with me, who I’d been hospitalized because of having delusions about, may have been the one to shell out hundreds of thousands of dollars anonymously on my behalf.

“I know that sounds crazy…” I started, but he cut me off quickly.

“Oh, no,” he said, picking his pen back up, composing himself. “It’s not that. I mean, I do wonder where you think he’d get that much money. I mean, he is only 19, correct? But that’s not why I reacted that way.”

“Then what?” I asked, confused.

He smiled. “You just said his name.” I gave him a weird look and he laughed. “You always show some physically painful reaction towards his name but you didn’t that time. You didn’t even realize you said it. I’m amazed. That’s some major progress.”

I smiled, realizing he was right. It didn’t hurt to say it, pain didn’t radiate into my chest where my heart lay. It felt normal, natural even. I felt… okay.

We were silent for a moment before I spoke. “Stock market and inheritance.” He looked confused at my words. “You wondered where Edward…” I paused at his name, waiting for the pain to come but it didn’t. I smiled and continued. “…where Edward would get that much money. His family was loaded, they each came into the family with inheritances and they had a talent for predicting which stocks were winners.”

I laughed at my words… of course I left out the fact that their talent came from psychic visions. He nodded.

“That’s right, they were all adopted. So Edward’s rich?”

“Yeah. He’s got more money than he knows what to do with, frankly.”

“And why do you think he’d pay these things for you? How did he even know about it?”

“I dunno why, maybe he felt guilty. Like I said, he had more money than he knew what to do with and he always wanted to spend it on me. As for how he knew… I remember briefly during my hospital stay one of the nurses mentioning Edward’s father checking up on me, so I suppose if Carlisle knew, Edward would.”

I smiled, realizing I’d said his name again without a problem. Dr. Nelson shared my elation.

“I told you it would happen. That one day you’d be able to remember Edward without hurting. I know from hearing you speak all of these months that you’re not completely over him. He was your first love and I really can’t guarantee you’ll ever entirely be over him, but you remember him fondly now. You’re living in the memory of how you loved and not how you lost.”

I nodded, agreeing.

“There is one thing that slightly worries me. If you are correct and it was Edward who paid for your lawyer and your restitution, that means he’s been keeping tabs on you. I worry about what would happen if he were to show back up in your life.”

I sighed. “I know.”

“It’s something we’d just have to deal with if it happened.” He said. He cleared his throat, gazing at me. “Look, I asked you this before and you didn’t give me a serious answer but I really would like to address Tyler’s disappearance.”

“Yeah. I really don’t know anything, though. I know I was the last one to see him, but I was unresponsive. I don’t even know what he talked about or why he came.”

“Isabella, is Tyler the one who drugged you?”

I froze. I lied to him before and told him I had no idea who did it, but he never bought it. I had a feeling he always suspected it was Tyler.

After a moment I nodded slightly.

“And he’s who you went to for drugs?” I didn’t answer at first, so he continued. “Remember that anything you say in here is confidential and won’t leave the room.”

I nodded again. “Yeah, it was Tyler.”

“So do you think it’s possible his disappearance could be linked to drugs?”

“Maybe,” I said.

We spoke for a while longer about some neutral topics, neither Tyler nor Edward being mentioned again during the session. After the timer went off I got up and exited the hospital.

I strolled home, in no hurry. After my strange encounter last week, I’d occasionally sensed someone watching me but it didn’t really freak me out. I was almost 100% sure in my theory that it had been Edward, especially now that I’d learned my restitution had been paid. I also wondered if he’d been the one calling me but had nothing to really relate the two experiences together except for the strange coincidence that they were occurring simultaneously. I hadn’t had any contact with my caller in a few days because my phone bit the dust. I went on a run one afternoon and had it in my pocket. It fell out and I stepped on it, cracking it. I kept meaning to replace it but had to wait until payday.

When I arrived at my building I grabbed my mail and headed up the stairs to my apartment. I kicked my shoes off and plopped down on the couch, sorting through the envelopes. I froze briefly on a letter from Renee… I’d written to her weeks ago and never got a response. I was beginning to think she’d changed her mind about contacting me.

I opened the envelope and pulled out the letter, but before I could open it to read it someone knocked on my door. My heart started racing and I slowly made my way towards it. No one ever visited my apartment, as no one really knew where I lived.

Hesitantly, I unlocked the deadbolt. I kept the chain lock on and opened the door a crack to peek out. A man in a brown UPS uniform stood there with a small brown box in his hand.

“Isabella Swan?” he asked, looking reading the name on the box. I smiled and nodded, closing the door slightly to completely unlock it. He handed me the box and wished me a good night. I took the box inside and walked into the kitchen to grab a knife. I slide the tape on the box, opening it. I laughed when I saw the contents.

An IPhone.

It was out of the packaging, already opened and set up. I glanced through the box, looking for a name, hoping it would give me some clue. The return address was a PO Box with no name attached to it, no way to trace it.

I hooked the phone up to charge it and sat back down on the couch with Renee’s letter.

Bella,

You don’t know how glad I am to finally hear from you. Phil and I had been out of town so I just now got your letter. Thank you for writing, you don’t know how much it means.

I can’t say I understand things completely, but after you explained it I can see how things could’ve progressed to that point. I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you; I had no idea Edward leaving had hurt you so much. Charlie swore you were just being dramatic after the break up and I ignored my instincts and believed him. I should’ve known better. You always loved wholly and he was your first real boyfriend.

I hope you’re healing and dealing with everything that happened. I imagine it has to be hard. I still talk to Charlie every now and then and he asks if I’ve heard from you. Bella your father loves you, even if he is an ass sometimes. He’s hurting too.

Please don’t be a stranger; I want you back in my life. I’d love to see you again baby girl.

Love, MOM

I put the letter aside, smiling. I missed my mom terribly and wondered if we could possibly get a relationship back. Months ago I wouldn’t have even entertained the idea—months ago I was dead set on the fact that everyone from my past was gone for good.

I jumped when music rang out through the apartment, surprising me. I glanced to the table and saw the phone was lit up, the music coming from it. I recognized it immediately, as it was a song I heard countless times growing up and had listened to with Edward. It also was the ringtone I had on my old phone. Clair de Lune.

If there had been any doubt left in my mind before then, it was now gone. It had to be him.

I was frozen, my mind running a million miles an hour in thought. Sudden silence brought me back to the present, and I realized I’d missed the call. I snatched the phone up quickly, redialing the number. It rang a few times before a woman’s voice came on the line—an automated message telling me to leave a voicemail. I hung up and hesitated briefly before quickly redialing the number. The automated message came on again, followed by the beep.

I took a deep breath, laughing nervously. I briefly wondered if I were making a mistake but pushed that thought aside.

“Thank you, for the phone,” I said finally. “Sorry I missed your call.” I was unsure of what else to say, everything felt like it was too personal to be left on a recording. I hung up after a second, leaving it at that.