Ch 49 - Story

I am so confused by this.
I know that life is hit or miss.
Days are stung by too much sun,
I think that you may be the one.
Cover yourself up in me,
Shrouded in what could have been.
I will listen to your pain,
If you listen to me.

“ Story” – Maroon 5

“You’ve gotta be kidding me about this dress,” I mumbled to myself as I slipped it on in the tiny closet of a dressing room. I smacked my elbow on the wall and yelped loudly, grabbing it.

“You okay in there, Isabella?” Denise called from across the wall.

“Fine,” I grumbled, cursing under my breath. This day just simply wasn’t going my way; every minute things seemed to get worse. Today was Halloween. The library had a big program going on all day long for the kids to celebrate the holiday, and I spent a good chunk of my shift this morning chasing after rugrats. I liked children, don’t get me wrong, but their energy and enthusiasm was tiring. They were already in costume, bright and early this morning, running around causing utter chaos in my usual sanctuary of peace. I read them spooky stories and attempted a few projects with the kids, but it was just complete pandemonium.

I used to love Halloween, I remember countless years of dressing up in gory costumes. I was never girly-girl, refusing to dress up as a princess or fairy. I was always all about the zombies and witches and blood and gore. It was quite ironic, my choices of costume, considering in real life blood made me queasy. I loved the entire horror aspect of the holiday. But now that I was well aware that some of those fictional scary characters really did exist, the day lost some of its appeal. Considering my boyfriend was a vampire and I was once a friend with a werewolf, there wasn’t much left for me to be scared of. Supernatural creatures didn’t frighten me anymore.

But alas, I couldn’t avoid the holiday, because there was a certain 4’10’’ tall vampire who refused to let me. Evidently it was a must that we get all dressed up and hand out candy to trick-or-treaters.

Before I could deal with that, however, I had to get through the current situation. I got off of work, completely ready to go home and relax to recuperate from the craziness of the library, only to be practically kidnapped by Denise in order to be fitted for a dress for her wedding. I begged her to let me do it another day considering we still had 2 months until she got married but she was insistent. It had to be today.

So here I stood, pulling on this monstrosity of a dress. It was hot pink and shiny and strapless, completely not me.

I stepped out when I had it on and Denise squealed. “That’s the one!” she proclaimed. I plastered a smile on my face, trying to look happy. She was getting married; her opinion was all that truly mattered. If she wanted me to wear this, I would grin and bear it for her because she deserved it.

I held still as some lady poked and prodded me, assigning alterations to ensure the dress fit perfectly. She only stabbed me with a pin once, thankfully not drawing any blood.

I slipped the dress off as soon as she was done and put my clothes back on. Denise thanked me excitedly and I smiled. She said she’d be in touch and we said our goodbyes, departing.

I made it back to the apartment and trudged inside. Edward smiled when he saw me, pulling me into a hug and kissing my lips quickly. “Hey, love,” he said warmly.

I smiled back, squeezing him tightly. Things between Edward and I were going amazingly. It had been over a month since Edward found out he bruised me and confronted me about not talking to him. I was trying to open up to him more, tell him what I was thinking and how I was feeling. It wasn’t always easy, I was insecure and slightly stubborn, but I was trying. We’d once again fallen back into a routine, both of us doing our own things but coming together at the end of the day and just being. The sexual tension was present but I ventured to guess it always would be. Edward wouldn’t take the risk of us being together again and kept boundaries in place, but he was still affectionate and wasn’t afraid to touch me. It was a delicate balance and we were getting by with it.

The front door swung open behind me. “Great, you’re home!!” Alice said, walking in. Edward groaned.

“You can’t knock?” he asked with irritation. Alice stuck her tongue out at him but otherwise made no comment.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bedroom. I noticed the bags in her hand and looked at her nervously. She pulled out some clothes and tossed them to me.

I held up the black dress, eyeing it warily. It was about medium length, the bottom tattered. It had a cape to it and long sleeves that flared out. I put it on and Alice pulled out some knee high boots. I looked at them suspiciously, about to argue, but Alice narrowed her eyes at me so I remained silent. I knew I wouldn’t win.

I put them on and zipped them up, standing up and trying to accustom myself to the heels. Alice pulled me back to a sit and started fiddling with my hair, throwing it up into some twisty updo. She pulled out a bag of makeup and quickly went to work on me. When she was confident I looked decent enough, she stepped back and pulled a pair of fangs out, handing them to me.

I chuckled, taking them from her and slipping them in my mouth. Alice grabbed something from the bag and started shedding her clothes quickly. I turned away from her, wanting to give her some privacy but I knew she didn’t care. Alice was far from shy. Less than a minute later she cleared her throat to catch my attention. I turned around, my eyes widening when I saw her. I started laughing hysterically and Edward groaned from the living room.

“An Indian, Alice?” I asked, still laughing. She smiled brightly.

“Yep! I’m a Quileute,” she said playfully, pointing at her boots. They were gray and furry, reaching up to her knees. The dress was tan and gray, falling mid-thigh. She reached into her bag and pulled out a headband with furry gray ears on it, slipping it on. I laughed even harder.

We walked out into the living room and Edward rolled his eyes at her, but smiled. He was just as amused about it as me. His eyes fell on me, scanning my body slowly. I fidgeted under his gaze and he chuckled. He came forward and wrapped his arms around me, inhaling deeply.

“Sexiest vampire I’ve ever seen,” he said seductively. I felt tingling shoot through me upon his words, immediately getting turned on. Edward inhaled again and moaned.

Alice cleared her throat and he hesitantly pulled away from me. She was smiling smugly.

“Let’s go hand out some candy!” she said excitedly. She grabbed the big bag she had dropped by the door and my eyes widened.

“Alice that’s a shitload of candy, I don’t think we’ll need all of that.”

Alice shrugged. “What we don’t use you can have.”

I looked at her with disbelief and she grabbed my arm, pulling me out of the apartment. I turned to look at Edward, silently pleading with my eyes for him to save me. He smiled lightly, getting the point.

Alice and I sat down on the front steps of the apartment. Edward stood beside me, leaning up against the railing. He was smiling down at me, looking happy and relaxed.

“How come he didn’t have to dress up?” I asked Alice, pointing at Edward. Alice scoffed.

“He wouldn’t do it,” she said.

“You didn’t even ask,” Edward mumbled.

“I didn’t have to,” Alice said, tapping her finger to her forehead. Edward chuckled after a moment, nodding.

Kids started coming by soon after that, and Alice excitedly handed out candy, being completely chipper and enthusiastic. I sat back and watched her interaction with the kids—she was so good with them. In another life, she could’ve been a kindergarten teacher.

Edward would occasionally chuckle at something. After awhile I grew curious and asked him what was so funny. He squatted down beside me, smiling. “I don’t hear kids minds often, not around them enough. They’re quite enjoyable to listen to, completely pure at heart and thought.” I smiled at his explanation. In another life, he would’ve been an amazing father.

My mind drifted then, drifted to the dream I had last month. It had stayed with me since that day, Lauren’s words ringing through my head constantly. I knew it was just my subconscious, my imagination working in overdrive, but it still stuck with me. I often found myself imagining what could’ve been. Who Lauren and Tyler could’ve been had things not gone horribly wrong in Forks. I wondered who I’d be today, what I would’ve done if I hadn’t lost control as I did. I found myself wondering what would’ve happened to Edward and Alice and essentially all of the other Cullen’s had they not been immortalized. I knew Esme, Rosalie, Edward, and Emmett had all been on their deathbeds when Carlisle changed them and essentially saved their lives, but I had to wonder how their lives would’ve turned out if they survived as humans. How they would’ve been in another life, in an alternate universe.

I imagined Esme fostering children or running an orphanage. Carlisle’s calling was always to help people so it was hard to imagine him as anything but a doctor. Maybe he could’ve been some brilliant surgeon or discovered the cure for cancer. Emmett I could picture as a little league coach with his playful nature and aptness for sports. Rosalie could’ve been an amazing model, maybe a famous Hollywood actress. Alice would’ve been great working with little kids, teaching preschool or kindergarten. I also could imagine her as a dancer, maybe teaching ballet. Jasper would definitely be military or maybe a politician—he seemed slightly too straightforward for politics though.

And Edward. I could see Edward happily married, coming home to a house full of miniature Edwards. I could imagine him playing with his kids, teaching them how to swim and ride bikes, pushing them on swings. Maybe he could’ve been a musician. I could see him giving piano lessons to the neighborhood kids.

I glanced up at his pale angelic face. He was smiling, watching Alice bubbling with enthusiasm. It was evident he loved Alice and thought of her as a real little sister. He gave her a hard time, like most big brothers do, but she truly meant a lot to him.

His gaze fell to me and he winked when he caught me staring. I smiled and blushed, turning my head away.

A family came by later with their golden retriever in tow. The dog growled menacingly at us, startling a few of the kids nearby. The family apologized, not understanding their dogs behavior, but we waved them off and told them it was fine.

“I guess getting a pet is out,” I said playfully. Edward chuckled.

“You could get a goldfish,” he said with a shrug. “I don’t think their brains are evolved enough to understand.”

I smiled, shaking my head. A few minutes later a little girl came running up. She looked vaguely familiar; I squinted at her, trying to figure out where I knew her.

“I know you!” she said happily, her eyes falling upon me. “You run in the park!”

I smiled brightly as it dawned on me why I remembered her. She was the little girl I often saw in the park, the one whose mom gave me the first aid stuff when I bit the dust that one time. She was the little girl who reminded me of myself at that age.

“I remember you too,” I said. “Where’s your mommy?”

She smiled. “Home. I’m spending the weekend with my daddy,” she said happily, pointing at a man. He was wearing a ball cap and had his head down, talking on a cell phone. He glanced up as approached and I gasped. His eyes widened in surprise and he smiled.

“Nice to see you Isabella,” he said happily. I smiled brightly.

“Wow, it’s great to see you too Darren!” I jumped up and practically threw myself at him, hugging him. I was genuinely happy to see him, believing I never would again. He’d been one of my saving graces at the hospital, one of the few people I felt didn’t judge me or look at me like I were troubled.

“You look amazing,” Darren said when I pulled away. “Really happy.”

I smiled and nodded. “I am,” I said. I turned and glanced at Edward. He appeared relaxed but I noticed his fists were clenched at his sides and he was eyeing Darren suspiciously. “This is my boyfriend Edward and my best friend Alice. Guys, this is Darren.”

Darren nodded in greeting. Edward mumbled a hello and Alice smiled excitedly, bellowing a chipper “Hey Darren!”

Darren turned to the little girl, who was watching me intently, obviously wondering how I knew her daddy. “This is my daughter Jasmine.”

I smiled. “I know Jasmine, I met her at the park,” I said. Darren looked at me with surprise while Jasmine simply nodded. “I didn’t know you were a father.”

Darren smiled sadly. “Yeah, well, obviously I wasn’t a very good one for awhile there.”

I nodded in understanding. He’d gotten into trouble somewhere along the way and landed in an institution for a year, missing part of her life.

“Dadddyyyy!” Jasmine bellowed, grabbing his arm and pulling on it. “I wanna get some more candy!”

Darren smiled. “I’ll see you later Isabella, duty calls.”

I nodded. “See you.”

I stood and watched as Darren took his daughters hand, leading her down the street. She was skipping along and they smiled at each other, both seeming very happy. I couldn’t help but smile in response. I felt some cold arms slip around my waist and jumped in surprise. Edward laid his chin on my shoulder, sighing.

“Do you want that?” he asked softly.

My brow furrowed in confusion. I turned my head to look at him, noticing Alice was mysteriously gone from the steps. “Do I want what?”

“That,” he said, nodding toward Darren and Jasmine’s retreating forms. “A family. Children. A future where you can take miniature Bella’s trick or treating.”

His expression was sad, wistful. His eyes full of longing for the things he’d never be able to experience, the things fate wouldn’t allow him. I realized at that point that my alternate universe for Edward was correct. Had it been possible, Edward would’ve definitely had children.

I turned back to look at Darren and Jasmine, watching them as they disappeared around a corner. I sighed, leaning my head over to rest on Edward's.

“Maybe in another life I would’ve. But no future matters to me now if it doesn’t include you.”