Ch 42 - Lucky Man

Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know

“Lucky Man” – The Verve

The sound of keys in the door startled me. I jolted upright and glanced around, slightly confused in my groggy state. I had fallen asleep on the couch, completely exhausted, but didn’t want to go to bed without Edward. I glanced at the clock quickly—it was nearly 3 am.

The door open and he slipped inside. I couldn’t completely make him out in the dark, especially in my groggy state, so I squinted my eyes. His eyes fell upon me and he smiled apologetically.

“Why are you up baby?” he asked softly, shutting and locking the door. He walked over to where I sat and scooped me up quickly. I yelped softly, still partially out of it. He chuckled and carried me to the bedroom, laying me down on the bed.

“I didn’t wanna go to bed without you,” I mumbled, my words slurring together and I felt my eyes trying to drift closed again. He chuckled and walked over to the dresser, pulling out a pair of flannel pants and a t-shirt. He removed the button up shirt he had been wearing and tossed it in the laundry basket. I forced my eyes open, staring at his toned bare back. He undid his jeans quickly, pulling them off and also tossing them in the laundry basket. My eyes widened with surprise.

Edward had never gotten this undressed in my presence before, always changing quickly while I was out of the room. I gazed at him, standing there in the light moonlight filtering in, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers. My heart started racing and Edward threw his pajamas on quickly, too fast for my eyes to even register his movements.

“Were you checking me out again?” he asked playfully as he slid into the bed beside me, pulling me onto his chest. I smiled lazily, losing the fight with my heavy lids as my eyes closed again.

“Of course I was,” I mumbled. He chuckled, shaking both of our bodies lightly with his laugh. I smiled again and took a deep breath, his scent soothing me. I drifted back into a deep sleep quickly.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock blaring loudly. I blindly felt for the offensive object but couldn’t reach it so I grabbed a pillow and placed it over my head, drowning out the noise.

The alarm clock silenced after a moment and I felt the bed shift. The pillow was pulled from my head and I peeked an eye open. Edward was looking down at me, a small smile on his lips.

“10 more minutes,” I mumbled, closing my eyes again and blindly trying to grab the pillow back from him. He laughed.

“You can sleep as long as you want, Bella. I’ve told you before that you don’t need to work,” he said nonchalantly. I groaned and forced myself into a sitting position, opening my eyes.

“I’m up,” I mumbled. He held his hand out to help me up and I took it without hesitation. He got me to my feet but didn’t let go of my hand.

“You look exhausted,” he said softly, bringing his free hand up to brush my cheek. I smiled and felt the blush appearing.

“I’ll be fine, just need caffeine.”

He dropped my hand and disappeared quickly, returning with coffee in his hand before my mind could even really register that he had left. I thanked him and immediately started gulping it down.

“Sorry about last night,” he said, frowning. “I didn’t intend to stay gone so long.”

“It’s fine,” I said with a smile, trying to be reassuring. I missed him terribly and was surprised he stayed gone so long but I wasn’t upset about it. He had the right to see his family and spend time with them—it was good for him.

“I should’ve called at least,” he muttered. I nodded but shrugged.

“I had fun with Alice, no big deal. She didn’t want to leave but I eventually kicked her out.”

He laughed. “Yeah I know. She mentally scolded me when she arrived back in Forks. That’s when I realized exactly how late it was, so I jumped in the car and flew back as quick as I could.”

Edward took my mug from me to go refill my coffee while I went to get ready for work. I took a quick shower, more to wake myself up than anything, and threw on comfortable clothes. I walked back out and grabbed my coffee, downing it.

“Have you decided what you want to do for your birthday?” he asked softly. I sighed. My birthday was exactly a week away.

“I don’t know, surprise me,” I muttered. I froze and regretted the words the moment they left my lips.

I turned and eyed Edward. He was smiling brightly, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Okay.”

“Actually, scratch that…” I started. Edward chuckled, shaking his head.

“No take backs Bella,” he said playfully. “Don’t worry, it’ll be nice. I’ll make sure you enjoy it. And I promise no parties.”

I nodded hesitantly. “Okay, I trust you.”

His face brightened significantly when I said I trusted him and I felt something inside of me swell at the realization. I did trust him. I wondered if I would ever truly trust Edward again, if I’d ever get past the place where I constantly second-guessed or questioned him, and I realized I was finally there. I couldn’t help but smile, completely elated.

I left after finishing my coffee, kissing Edward quickly. He stood at the window and watched me until I was out of sight, confident now that it was safe for me to walk to work alone. It was only a few blocks and I appreciated him giving me these small pieces of independence. It was still hard for him, allowing me freedoms where he couldn’t guard me from every little thing that could hurt me—like the potholes I occasionally tripped in—but he did it because he knew it was important to me. I didn’t want to lose my identity, didn’t want to lose myself.

My shift went by quickly. When 3 o’clock rolled around I said goodbye to Margaret and headed outside. Something caught my eye and I glanced over to see Edward approaching. He sprinted across the street, pulling me into a hug.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. He smiled and held out a stack of papers to me. I took them and scanned the top one quickly, smiling lightly. “You got me an application for UW?”

He laughed. “You’re half right. I got us both applications.”

My eyebrows raised in surprise. “You’re going to go to UW?” I asked.

He smiled and shrugged. “I’m due for another college education. I’m sure I can find something new to study.”

I narrowed my eyes slightly, still smiling. “You don’t know what you want to study?” He shook his head. “So you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up?”

He laughed. “Nope, sure don’t. Do you? Know what you want to do?”

My smile fell slightly as I shook my head. “Not sure. I guess I need to figure it out soon though, considering I don’t have the courtesy of eternity ahead of me. Time is ticking away.”

Edward grew completely silent. I glanced over at him quickly and saw he was frowning. He noticed we looking and tried to smile lightly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “One day at a time,” he mumbled softly.

My brow furrowed in confusion. One day at a time? Before I could question him on it his phone started ringing. He pulled it out and glanced at the screen. He quickly silenced it, putting it back in his pocket. He saw I was still looking at him questioningly and he smiled lightly. “We’ll talk about it later,” he said with a shrug.

“Okay,” I muttered. Edward grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers, and we walked back home in silence. Edward halted abruptly when we reached the apartment, stopping me in my tracks before I could walk through the front door.

“What’s wrong?” I asked quickly. His expression startled me, a million different scenarios running through my mind.

He smiled lightly, shaking his head. “You, uh… have company,” he said softly.

“Really? Who?” I asked with confusion.

“Denise,” he said with a shrug. “She’s standing outside your apartment door, still knocking. She’s worried she hasn’t heard from you lately.”

I instantly felt bad. It seemed since Edward reappeared back in my life after my last hospitalization, everyone else was placed on the backburner. I’d been neglecting my correspondence with my mom, not even getting around to opening her last letter yet and it had arrived nearly a week ago. Denise had been so great to me, completely supportive through everything, and I hadn’t returned her calls or tried to contact her. She didn’t even know Edward was back in my life.

I nodded and started heading inside. Edward didn’t move an inch. I looked at him questioningly. “Do you want me to go somewhere for a while?” he asked. I was taken off guard by his question, although it shouldn’t have surprised me. Of course Edward wouldn’t want to impose and would try to offer me privacy.

I shook my head, tugging his hand to get him to move. He obliged and followed me inside.

As we started up the stairs, I could hear the pounding coming from my door. I smiled and scaled the stairs quickly and quietly, halting at the top. Denise had a determined look on her face.

“Knock any harder and you might break the door down,” I said playfully. She swung around in my direction, eyes widening. She gasped when her eyes fell upon Edward.

I heard him chuckle lightly behind me. I walked forward to my door and he followed quietly. Denise was gaping at us, seemingly surprised.

“I was worried. I haven’t heard from you,” she mumbled to me, but her eyes still fell on Edward. She cocked an eyebrow at me after a moment.

I laughed and unlocked the apartment door, motioning for her to go inside. She immediately plopped down on the couch and I sat down beside her. Edward shut the door behind him and smiled at Denise.

“Denise, this is Edward. Edward, this is Denise,” I made the introductions quickly, even though they were essentially useless. They both knew who the other was.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Denise, I’ve heard a lot about you,” Edward said warmly, turning on the charm and plastering his crooked grin on his face. Denise just stared at him for a moment, in a trance. I couldn’t help but smile—he was dazzling her.

“You too. I’ve heard a lot about you too,” she mumbled while shaking her head lightly, obviously trying to bring herself out of her daze.

Edward exited the room quickly, not wanting to linger. Denise turned to me with a smile and started fanning herself playfully. “Wow, he is gorgeous, more gorgeous than I originally thought. So is this why I haven’t heard from you?” I smiled sheepishly and shrugged. She laughed. “I guess if I had a guy like that locked away in my apartment I wouldn’t respond to the outside world either.” I nodded.

Denise leaned in toward me, a smile on her face. “Is he good?” she whispered. I looked at her questioningly. “In bed. Is he good in bed?”

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks instantly and closed my eyes, embarrassed. She was whispering, thinking it was private girl talk, not knowing Edward would be able to hear it clearly.

I stalled for a moment, mumbling incoherently. Edward chose that moment to pop back into the room, offering Denise something to drink. I exhaled sharply, not realizing I’d been holding my breath. I was utterly thankful for his interference, hoping Denise would drop the question. He smiled lightly at me when he returned with a soda for her.

“He’s sweet,” she commented when he left the room again. I nodded.

“Very much so.”

“And he treats you good? Everything fine?”

I smiled enthusiastically, nodding again. “Everything’s great.”

She seemed pleased by that and smiled. “Good.” She glanced at her watch after a moment, sighing. “I can’t stay, the real reason I’ve been so desperate to get a hold of you is because I wanted to ask you to be one of my bridesmaids.”

My eyes widened as I gaped at her. “Me? A bridesmaid? Like with a dress?”

She smiled and nodded. “We’re getting married on New Years Eve and I really want you to be in the wedding.” She noticed my hesitation and started to pout. “Please?”

I sighed loudly but nodded. I wasn’t so sure about walking down an isle in high heels with people watching me—that was a recipe for disaster. But I owed Denise a lot and if this is what she wanted, I couldn’t deny her that. She smiled and clapped excitedly.

“Great! I’ll be in touch about the details, the dress fittings and everything. Thank you so much Isabella!”

I told her she was welcome and she pulled me into a quick hug before standing up, saying she had to get going. I walked her to the door and she yelled a goodbye at Edward, once again thanking him for the soda. After she left I closed and locked the door, groaning.

Edward appeared in front of me, smiling. “That meant a lot to her. She was sure you were going to turn her down. I can’t deny I’m slightly surprised you agreed to it.”

I shrugged. “I owe her,” I said simply.