Ch 32 - Majoring In Mirrors

I don't believe the lies
Reading between the lines
I don't belong here any longer
I'll be gone this time
I don't believe the lies
This is the last goodbye
I don't belong here any longer
I'll be gone this time

“Majoring In Minors” – Sugarcult

Our encounter with Charlie almost made me forget about Edward’s suspicious behavior, but the moment we pulled up at the Cullen house and I saw the looks Edward exchanged with Carlisle, it all came rushing back to me. There was concern there—they were on guard for some reason.

“Bella it’s so wonderful to see you!” Esme said, smiling radiantly. She pulled me into a gentle hug. “I’m so glad Edward finally brought you for a visit.”

I smiled back, telling her how much I had missed her. It was true--I really did miss Esme. She was such a kind-hearted person, like a mother to me.

Carlisle and Esme led us into the house. Edward leaned over and kissed my lips lightly, telling me he was going to Carlisle’s office so Carlisle could show him something. I nodded and turned away from him. I spotted Esme watching us, beaming. I gave her a smile and walked into the living room.

Emmett and Jasper were sitting on the couch, controllers in hand. They were playing a video game I didn’t recognize, but I gathered immediately it involved trying to shoot each other.

I laughed and sat down in a chair across from them. “I didn’t know you played video games Jasper.”

Jasper nodded. “He only plays when Alice is gone,” Emmett said with a laugh. “He doesn’t like her seeing him lose.”

“Alice is gone?” I said, glancing around quickly. It didn’t strike me that she hadn’t accosted me the moment I walked in the room as she usually did when in my presence.

“Yeah, she went somewhere with Rose. They should be back soon,” Emmett answered.

Jasper apparently shot Emmett’s character in the game, because he groaned and tossed the controller down. He got up and walked out of the room quickly, leaving Jasper and I alone.

Jasper sat his controller down and glanced over at me, smiling lightly.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again, Bella. How are you?” he asked politely.

I smiled. “I’m doing good Jasper, you?”

He nodded. “I’m well.” We sat silently for a moment, looking at each other. It was slightly awkward. I had nothing against Jasper, he didn’t scare me and I really viewed him as a brother after our expedition to Phoenix, but the fact was the only thing him and I had in common was that we both loved Alice. We struggled for conversation.

“Those flowers you sent Alice were pretty,” I blurted out, desperate to break the slight tension that was building. He furrowed his brow, looking confused.

“Flowers?” he asked.

“Uh yeah, the carnations,” I said. He was still gazing at me with bewilderment. I started to feel embarrassed, growing confused. How could he not remember?

“I don’t know what flowers you’re….” he started, but Edward chimed up from the doorway behind us, cutting him off mid-sentence.

“Yeah you do Jasper. You know, the white and red carnation that arrived at Bella’s apartment when Alice was there.”

Jasper's eyes shot to Edward quickly and he nodded after a moment. “Of course. Those flowers,” he said. He smiled lightly at me, getting up and exiting the room quickly. I furrowed my brow and glanced over at Edward. He was running his fingers through his hair nervously.

Something was going on—something wasn’t adding up. I opened my mouth to address that fact when Emmett bounded into the room, followed by Carlisle and Jasper. “Come on, Edward,” Emmett said. Edward smiled sheepishly at me.

“We’re going to go hunt,” Edward said. “We won’t go far so I’ll be back as soon as I can. A few hours at most.”

“I thought you just hunted yesterday,” I said, eyeing him suspiciously. He was supposed to have spent all day yesterday hunting, which is why I assumed he lost track of time and hadn’t met me after work.

“Yes,” he said simply. He leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead before bolting for the backdoor, not giving me time to respond or question him anymore. I sat gaping at his retreating form, stunned when he disappeared from sight.

“Are you hungry Bella?” Esme asked. I turned to look at her and nodded, still slightly dazed. “I’ll make you something.” She bolted from my sight immediately, heading into the kitchen.

She returned with a sandwich in a matter of moments. “Peanut Butter and Jelly. Alice said you’d like it.”

I thanked her and took it, taking small bites. I have no idea what Esme was doing, she was fluttering in and out of the room, but I couldn’t really focus on her. I was too lost in thought, trying to figure out what was going on and why Edward brought me here.

When I finally finished my sandwich, Esme took my plate and went into the kitchen to wash it. The house was eerily silent—almost too quiet. I leaned my head over onto the arm of the chair, my eyes drifting closed.

The nightmare came again, this time more intense than before. I could see Lauren this time; I could hear her screams loudly. The haze was gone and she was no longer muffled. I never saw it as it happened, never truly lived the accident because the drugs blocked me from reality so I knew it was my subconscious making it up, but I couldn’t seem to stop the images. I watched her as the fire took her, the flames completely shrouding her body. I could smell it and hear her screams dying out. I was jolted awake in the middle of it and screamed loudly, glancing around quickly. My eyes met Edwards and he appeared startled, concerned. I realized he was cradling me in his arms—I was trembling and sweating.

“It’s okay Bella, I’m here,” he whispered. I was sobbing and he embraced me tightly, rocking. I calmed down after a few minutes. Edward wiped my tears away and I smiled lightly at him. He smiled back and gazed into my eyes. He leaned in slightly, I assume preparing to kiss my lips, but I froze and cut him off abruptly.

“You didn’t hunt,” I said matter-of-factly. He was taken back and furrowed his brow.

“What?”

“I said you didn’t hunt. Your eyes aren’t any lighter. I don’t think you hunted yesterday either.”

He seemed caught of guard for a second but composed himself quickly. He smiled, shaking his head. “Of course I did.”

“No Edward, you didn’t.” I pushed out of his arms and stood up. “Something’s going on and I want to know what.”

“Everything’s fine Bella,” he said nonchalantly. I narrowed my eyes at him.

“If everything is fine than why are we here Edward? Why’d we come to Forks so suddenly?” I was getting aggravated.

He sighed. “I just thought we should spend a few days here with my family.”

“A few days? Edward I can’t stay here for days! I have work!”

He smiled. “Margaret said you could have as many days off as you wanted. You have tomorrow off anyway, I figured you could just take the rest of the week off also.”

I groaned loudly, rolling my eyes. “Why? And what about therapy Edward? You’re the one who convinced me to go back. I have a session tomorrow afternoon, I can’t just skip it.”

“Don’t worry about your therapy session tomorrow. We’ll worry about all of that later,” he said softly.

“Don’t worry about it?” I shook my head, exasperated. “I don’t understand you.” I grabbed my phone and started scrolling through the numbers quickly.

“Who are you calling?” Edward asked, his voice edging on panic.

“Dr. Nelson. I’m not going to just not show up, it’s rude. The least I can do is call and cancel, even if it is short notice.”

As soon as I located Dr. Nelson’s number, Edward sprang forward and snatched my phone from me. I swung around quickly and glared at him. He was acting strange, making absolutely no sense at all. Nothing was making sense anymore. I was utterly confused and bordering on being scared. The fact that he was treating me like a child and trying to shelter me from it all was downright infuriating me. I felt as if I were being held hostage and purposely kept in the dark. Like he felt as if I were incompetent, unable to handle the truth.

“Give me my phone.” I tried to grab it from him but of course he was too fast for me.

“I’ll cancel your appointment. You just relax and don’t worry about anything.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Relax? You want me to relax? How am I supposed to do that when you’re sneaking around and keeping things from me and lying to me, Edward? Something is going on and I deserve to know!”

“She’s right,” a voice said from the doorway behind me. Edward’s eyes narrowed and I swung around to see Rosalie standing there.

“Stay out of it,” Edward nearly growled. Rose scowled at him and shook her head.

“It’s too late for that, you already dragged me into it. It has nothing to do with me and I’ve gotten caught in the middle of it! And for what? For her again?? And you want her to not have to deal with it? That’s not right. She should know what she’s doing to this family again, what she’s causing,” Rosalie spat, staring down Edward. I heard him growl and turned to see his eyes also narrowed, his lips pulling back to expose his teeth.

Alice sprinted into the room quickly, standing between her siblings. “No Edward,” she said firmly, her gift giving her some idea of what he was intending to do. Emmett walked up and grabbed a hold of Rose but she shrugged him off.

They stared each other down for another few moments, hostility still coming from both of them. “If you don’t tell her, I will,” Rosalie said flatly.

Edward looked as if he was going to leap at her, but Carlisle grabbed his shoulder. I glanced around and noticed the rest of the family had appeared sometime during the showdown. I felt a wave of calm flow through me and glanced up at Jasper, as it was obviously his doing.

“Rosalie, Edward has the right to deal with this as he sees fit,” Carlisle said pointedly. I sighed loudly, irritated that Carlisle seemed to be siding with Edward. I didn’t agree with Rosalie’s approach but I did agree with what she said—I had a right to know what was happening. Edward smiled smugly. “However, I do believe that Bella has the right to know.”

Edwards smile fell and he looked at Carlisle incredulously. “What? But she’s fragile!”

My eyes widened as his words hit me. Fragile? I felt my anger boiling over, his words stinging. “Fragile?!” I spat. “Are you suggesting I’m unstable, that by telling me I’m going to crack? Do you think I’m crazy, that I’m going to turn catatonic again?”

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and fought them back. It hurt deeply but I needed to be strong. Crying and breaking down would only make him appear right, make me appear to be fragile.

His seemed shocked by my rant “I didn’t mean it that way, really Bella!”

I turned away from him quickly, stomping out of the room. I ran up the stairs as quick as my feet would carry me, going to his bedroom on the 3rd floor and slamming the door behind me. I plopped down face first on the bed and buried my face in the pillow as the tears started to fall.

Did he really think I was crazy? That he had to walk on eggshells around me or I’d snap?