Ch 31 - It's Just Me

I'm gonna feel a peace in me,
I'm gonna feel at home.
I'm gonna make this cloud above me disappear, be gone.
I wanna feel a punch inside, my heart beat on the floor.
I don't wanna hurt no more.

“It's Just Me” – Blue October

I drudged up the stairs of my apartment, exhausted. I just finished a 12-hour shift at the library and we’d been swamped, so much material coming in and out of that place we had a hard time keeping up with it. It was shortly after 9pm, and I wanted nothing more than to climb into my bed and sleep.

It’s been a week since Edward took me on the ‘date’ to the zoo and the space needle. Things were awkward for a little while afterwards, neither of us speaking on the drive home. I had been lost in thought, dwelling on the uncertainty of our future, and Edward had been busy worrying about why my mood shifted so rapidly.

After a good night sleep I’d woken up feeling better. Things were still as uncertain as ever but I knew there was no sense in worrying. Worrying wouldn’t get me anywhere. The rest of the week went by smoothly, was great even. Alice popped in twice, surprising me in the morning and claiming she was going shopping. I was slightly suspicious of that but couldn’t come up with any reason as to why Alice would lie to me. Things with Edward were wonderful. His physical affection remained consistent; he’d hug and kiss me every opportunity he got. It was refreshing, heartwarming. I had no idea what sparked it, he’d gone from proclaiming how dangerous he was and how he nearly killed me to being even more touchy feely than he’d ever been. I wasn’t complaining though, I enjoyed every second of it.

I still tested his limits occasionally, trying to deepen the kisses. He let me push him further than I ever expected he would but he’d always pull away eventually.

Edward was out hunting today and I assumed he hadn’t returned yet, considering he wasn’t waiting for me when I got off work as usual. He was still overprotective to the point of nearly being smothering. I honestly didn’t mind it, but it did make me wonder exactly how much he was keeping from me. I knew he had secrets and if I asked he’d probably give me at least half-truths, but I’d been so wrapped up in how great things were going that I didn’t want to ask. I didn’t want to know the bad yet, while I could still get away with not knowing.

Because I imagined things were still bad, when it came down to it. He still seemed to think someone were after me. I hadn’t gotten any anonymous calls since Edward took my phone and bought me a new one with a new number, but he was still suspicious and I’d occasionally catch him tensing up whenever someone called me. There’s only one person I could think of that would be after me that would concern Edward so much, and that was Victoria.

I tried not to think about it though. I trusted Edward, trusted he knew what he was doing, that he’d keep me safe.

I got to my apartment and turned the knob. The door was unlocked and opened quickly. Edward met me at the door, his eyes wide with surprise.

“Bella what are you doing here?” he asked.

I furrowed my brow. “I live here.”

He glanced up at the clock on my wall and groaned. “I can’t believe I lost track of time!” He nearly growled with frustration.

“It’s fine, no big deal,” I said with a shrug. I closed the door behind me and kicked my shoes off. I could hear the news on the TV again but ignored it. Edward seemed to have an obsession with it. “I’m exhausted.”

Edward smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. He seemed distracted, worried. “Have you ate?” he asked.

I nodded. “We ordered pizza at work. I really just want to go to bed.”

He smiled again, this time more genuine. “After you,” he said, motioning toward the bedroom. He shut off the TV and the lights while I changed quickly and slipped under the covers. He came into the room, shutting the door behind him. He slid into bed beside me, facing me.

“I missed you,” he said, leaning over slowly. I stayed still, letting him take the control as usual. He brushed his lips against mine softly and I moaned. He pulled away and did it again, this time with a little more strength behind it. His kiss deepened after a moment, and he shifted slightly overtop of me. I gasped when I felt his cold tongue swipe my bottom lip. He groaned and pulled away from my mouth but his lips didn’t leave my skin. I kept my eyes closed and moaned softly as he placed kisses across my jaw line and down my neck.

I brought my hands up and threaded them through his hair, instinctively trying to drawn him closer. He froze abruptly before pulling away. I caught a glimpse of his black eyes before they melted back to their golden tone. They were still slightly dark, not the light almost yellow he usually had after he hunted. I opened my mouth to comment on it, but he stopped me abruptly by pressing his lips against mine again.

He pulled away after a moment again but quickly pulled me to him so I lay in his arms. “Get some sleep love,” he mumbled.

I drifted off to sleep quickly, still slightly dazed from his affection. I slept deeply all night long, no nightmares interrupting my peaceful slumber.

I woke up around dawn and sauntered out of the bedroom, still half asleep. I gasped in shock and froze when I spotted Rosalie standing in the living room. Edward heard me and walked out of the kitchen.

“Good morning,” he said, smiling. I mumbled a greeting to him, unable to take my eyes off of Rosalie. She wasn’t looking at me and I ventured a guess that it was intentional. She was frowning, obviously not wanting to be here. I wondered why she was, what would possess her to come to my apartment. She never really liked me; I imagined she felt her family was better off without me.

“I, uh, I’m going to take a shower,” I muttered, turning and heading into the bedroom to grab some clothes. I went into the bathroom and showered quickly, slipping on my clothes afterward.

I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and stepped out of the bathroom. Rosalie was still standing in the same spot, scowling at Edward. He was across the room on the phone, whispering lowly to whomever was on the other end. Rosalie turned her head briefly to look at me, and her eyes narrowed slightly. Her glare was cold, harsh.

“Rose,” Edward growled. She snapped her head in his direction quickly, scowling. She rolled her eyes after a moment and tossed her hands in the air in frustration. Edward’s expression was serious.

He turned to me and smiled lightly. “You look beautiful today,” he said. I felt the blush creep up into my cheeks and glanced down at what I had on. It was simple, a pair of khaki’s and a black top with black shoes.

“Thank you,” I mumbled. He nodded in response.

“Rose is going to walk with you to work this morning, she has something to take care of in town anyway.”

My eyes widened in surprise as I turned to look back at Rosalie. She didn’t look happy about it at all, but she didn’t argue or disagree.

“Uh, okay,” I stammered. I grabbed up my stuff for work and headed for the door. Edward caught my arm and pulled me to him, pressing his lips against mine quickly. There was intensity behind the kiss, slight forcefulness to it. It caught me off guard and I dropped everything I was holding, all of it tumbling to the ground.

Edward pulled back after a moment, placing one more chaste kiss on my lips. He smiled and reached down, picking up my stuff to hand it to me. “Have a good day at work Bella,” he said softly.

I nodded and turned to leave. Rose was glaring at Edward and huffed before turning to follow me out the door.

The walk to work was awkward. Rose didn’t speak, nor did she even acknowledge my presence. She walked beside me the entire time but acted as if I weren’t there. She departed without saying a single word to me when we reached the library.

The first few hours of my shift flew by quickly. We were slightly busy and I was lost in thought the entire time. I couldn’t figure out why Rosalie Hale had shown up at my apartment and why she’d walked to work with me. It was evident it wasn’t of her choosing; she clearly didn’t want to be there. So why did she agree to it, and more importantly why did Edward feel it was necessary?

I was shelving books when a lady cleared her throat behind me. She had a small piece of paper in her hand and smiled.

“Could you help me find this book?” she asked. I nodded and took the slip from her, scanning it. I walked a few aisles over and hopped up on a stool.

“153.3,” I muttered repeatedly under my breath, scanning the books on the shelf in front of me. I pulled one out after a moment, smiling. “153.3 Gardner, here you go. Anatomy of Creativity.”

The lady smiled and took the book from me, thanking me. I climbed down from the stool and grabbed a few books from the cart sitting nearby, walking off to shelve them.

Loud laughter rang out from the front desk and I swung around, immediately heading in that direction. It was coming from Margaret, the main librarian. She was a nice woman, very sweet, but she was definitely a stickler when it came to respecting the library. Being loud was definitely out of the question, so I was shocked to hear her voice rising above the others.

I froze when I turned the corner and she came into sight. She was sitting behind the desk, bright red in the face, fighting back giggles. She was fanning herself, obviously flustered. Edward stood in front of her, leaning across the desk. He was saying something to her, a crooked grin on his face.

He was dazzling her. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but it was evident from his posture and her reaction that he was intentionally being charming. He’d be using his soft seductive voice, the one that would make any female agree to anything he asked. There was no doubt about it—he was up to something.

After a moment she nodded and he chuckled. The moment he turned from the desk his smile disappeared, his expression grave. I saw his lips twitch, pulling back slightly to expose a slight glimpse of his teeth as his eyes scanned the room.

Fear crept through me, a shiver going down my spine. Something wasn’t right. My heart started racing and his eyes darted to me quickly. He smiled immediately but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Hey, love,” he said as he approached. I smiled.

“Hi. What are you doing here?” I asked cautiously.

He shrugged. “I thought we could do something.”

I glanced at my watch. “Well I get off in about 3 hours...” I started.

“Actually, your boss said you could leave now.” I narrowed my eyes at him slightly but nodded, agreeing. I grabbed my stuff and said goodbye to Margaret. She told me to have fun and smiled brightly at Edward when he shot her another crooked grin.

Edward grabbed my hand and led me out of the front door. The Volvo was parked right in front of the library, in a no parking zone. I shot Edward a wary look but he just smiled and opened the passenger door for me. I slipped inside and he jumped in the drivers seat.

Edward pulled away from the curb quickly, immediately pulling a U-Turn and hitting the gas. The speedometer inched up fast.

“What’s going on Edward?” I said, reaching over and putting my seatbelt on. He was scaring me slightly.

“What do you mean?” he asked, glancing in my direction and smiling. I rolled my eyes—he was going to feign ignorance.

“I mean, why the urgency to spring me from work?”

He shrugged. “I missed you, that’s all.”

I glared at him—I didn’t buy it for a second. He was keeping something from me.

Edward drove right by my apartment building, not even slowing down. I glanced around, confused, as he swung a left and headed toward US-101.

“Where are we going?” I asked suspiciously. There was only one reason for us to be heading that direction.

“I thought we could go visit the family for a bit,” he said nonchalantly.

“Forks?!”

He nodded but didn’t look at me. He said nothing more, simply continued driving. The speedometer inched higher and higher and I gripped my seat tightly as he accelerated past 100 mph. He drove in silence, his expression glum. His phone rang once and he spoke into it quickly, hanging up and tossing it into the backseat in frustration.

I was completely bewildered. Why were we going to Forks? Why the urgency to see his family?

I gasped loudly, turning to Edward. “Charlie??” I nearly yelled.

Edward’s eyes widened in surprise as he turned to me. “What about Charlie?”

“Is something wrong with Charlie?? What happened?”

Edward furrowed his brow, chuckling after a moment. “Don’t be absurd Bella, Charlie’s fine. Relax. We’re just going to go see my family, that’s all.”

He reached over and grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers and squeezing lightly. He smiled at me and shook his head.

Everything was silent again. Edward seemed to be contemplating something. I was lost in thought, trying to figure out what was going on. He wasn’t telling me anything, obviously trying to shelter me.

I felt my heart racing and my breathing pick up as we neared the sight of the accident. It’s been well over a year but you could still see the damage in the trees from where the truck landed and burst into flames. Edward squeezed my hand.

“Esme is going to be ecstatic to see you,” he said, obviously trying to divert my attention. I smiled lightly at him and nodded.

The rest of the drive flew by quickly. We pulled into the Forks City Limits and Edward slammed on the brakes, the car slowing from 100 to just under 30 quickly. My grip on the seat tightened and I look at Edward startled.

“Charlie’s clocking speeds,” Edward said, smiling sheepishly.

I smiled involuntarily. It was just like my dad to be back to work so soon. “You’re still speeding”, I said pointing at the 25 mph speed limit sign.

He chuckled. “It’s like 4 over Bella, do you really think Charlie would stop me for that?”

I snorted. “You? Absolutely.”

I glanced out the window at the police cruiser parked alongside the road as we drove by it. Edward tapped his brakes but groaned loudly as the cruiser pulled out behind us.

“This isn’t good,” Edward grumbled. I looked in the side mirror and watched as the red and blue lights came on. The siren blared a second later, which was completely unnecessary considering Edward was already pulling over, but I had a feeling Charlie was only doing it to embarrass him.

I giggled lightly at Edward’s expression—he almost looked frightened. He raised his eyebrows at me as he placed the car in park.

“I wouldn’t laugh if I were you Bella.”

“Why’s that?” I cocked an eyebrow at him, smiling.

“Do you really think Charlie’s going to be happy to see you in my car? With me?”

My smile faded quickly as my eyes widened. “Oh shit,” I mumbled as Charlie opened his door and climbed out. He looked slightly smug, a small smile playing on his lips. He was enjoying busting Edward.

“Indeed,” Edward muttered, putting his window down. He opened the center console and grabbed his wallet, pulling his license out. He leaned over quickly and popped open the glove box, grabbing his registration and insurance card.

“Edward Cullen,” Charlie’s voice spat out as he approached.

“Yes, Police Chief Swan,” Edward said in his smoothest most charming voice. I would’ve found it amusing if it weren’t for the fact that Charlie serious despised Edward and blamed him for everything that happened.

Charlie stopped when he got to Edwards window and leaned down, looking inside. His smug smile disappeared, his face twisting with fury when his fell upon me. He hadn’t seen me before now, thanks to the Cullen’s darkened window tinting.

Charlie glared at me for a moment, not speaking. Edward held up his information and Charlie snatched it out of his hand, still not breaking his glare at me.

“Hey dad,” I said cautiously. I saw Charlie’s face redden as he glanced quickly between Edward and I. Edward groaned again, closing his eyes and laying his head back against the seat.

Charlie nodded once in acknowledgement at me and stood up, focusing his attention at the papers Edward handed him. “I wondered why I haven’t seen you around here lately Edward,” Charlie said. His voice was strained as he struggled to remain calm.

“Yes sir, I’ve been living in Seattle,” Edward said politely, opening his eyes and glancing over to me quickly. I gave him a small smile.

“You haven’t changed your address on your drivers license,” Charlie grumbled, nitpicking. Edward didn’t respond.

After a moment Charlie turned and walked back to his cruiser with Edward’s information. I watched in the mirror as Charlie picked up his CB and radioed something in. Edward remained silent, occasionally a small smile playing on his lips as he listened to what was going on in the cruiser behind us. Charlie got back out a few minutes later, mumbling to himself as he walked back to the Volvo. He handed Edward his papers back.

“Slow down when you drive through my town boy,” Charlie grumbled.

“Yes sir, I’m sorry,” Edward responded with. Charlie glanced back in my direction, frowning. He turned and walked away after a moment, not saying a word to me. He got into the cruiser and pulled away quickly.

“Well that was awkward.”