Ch 17 - When Can I See You Again

When can I see you again
When can my heart beat again
When can I see you again
When can I breathe once again
And when can I see you

“When Can I See You Again” – Babyface

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I quickly excused myself from the desk where I had been speaking to Margaret and walked towards the back of the room. I slipped the phone out and quietly answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey Isabella!!” Denise’s voice was loud with excitement… I winced and had to pull the phone away from my ear.

“Hey Denise, what’s up?”

I heard her laugh lightly. “I was wondering what you were doing tonight, if you wanted to go to dinner and to see the fireworks.”

I smiled. “I thought you were going with that new guy of yours?” Every time we’d spoken lately she’d been rattling on about the amazing guy she was dating. I was happy for her—she had suffered a great loss and deserved happiness.

“I am,” she said. “But, uh… look I’m so sorry and you know I wouldn’t ask if I weren’t desperate but his brother is in town visiting for the weekend and I was hoping you’d come along.”

I groaned. “Seriously Denise? A blind date?”

“Please Isabella? I promise I’ll never ask you again.” I sighed but didn’t answer. “Come on, you might have fun! It’ll do you some good to get out!”

“Fine, whatever,” I grumbled. She thanked me profusely and told me they’d pick me up at 7pm. I glanced at my watch and saw that it was already 3:30.

I hung up and walked to the desk where Margaret was still sitting. “Do you mind if I leave a little early? Apparently I’ve been roped into going on a date in a few hours.”

Margaret smiled brightly. “Sure, dear, go ahead and head out now.” I thanked her and gathered my things, heading out.

Today was July 4th--Independence Day. The irony of the day didn’t escape me… last July 4th was the day I’d officially lost my independence, my first day incarcerated at the institute. It’s surreal thinking of how things had been only a year ago and how much had changed in such a short amount of time. It was only 2 years ago that Edward and I had been together and spent the day watching fireworks together. It felt like it was just yesterday…

My phone rang again as I approached the apartment. I pulled it out and saw that it said Caller ID Unavailable. Even though the number was programmed into my phone, when they called it still was blocked. I groaned and hit the silence button, not in the mood for another one-sided conversation.

I‘ve officially been out of the institute for 6 months now, and the anonymous calls have been coming in for nearly as long. I’ve felt myself being watched on and off for months, more now than ever before. Weird things keep happening, little signs indicating that someone had been there with me. I’d only connected the feeling of being watched with the little incidents recently, assuming they were related. It tended to occur when I worked the night shift at the library and during my runs. I was positive it was an immortal doing it and knew it had to be intentional… vampires didn’t make noise or get detected unless they wanted to. I was just as sure I knew the identity of that vampire, and that he wanted me to know he was there. I just couldn’t figure out why.

I’d made no progress lately on figuring it out, either. Countless phone calls and they hadn’t slipped up at all. They never gave anything away through text message. Although I knew when they were there, I never once actually saw them.

A voice in the back of my head screamed at me, telling me it was possible that I was losing my mind again, that maybe I still belonged inside the institute. I’d made so many strides in therapy that my sessions were cut back to once a week, and as of today were completely voluntarily. I could cease therapy at any time with no repercussions, although it was recommended that I continue. And I was going to… I knew I wasn’t fully healed and that it was possible I’d never be, and I wasn’t ready to go out on my own completely yet. On top of therapy no longer being mandatory, I was no longer on probation and my driver’s license no longer suspended.

By the time I got to the apartment, I was feeling better about the evening. I truly did have a lot to celebrate today… it really was my Independence Day.

When I got to the apartment, I drew a warm bath and climbed in to relax. I dozed off briefly and was jarred awake by my phone ringing. I climbed out of the tub, wrapping a towel around me, and waltzed into the living room. I glanced at the caller ID, seeing it was unavailable again and ignored it. It hurt a bit; knowing somewhere the love of my life was likely holding a phone to his ear, wanting to hear me speak for some reason. But I was frustrated with the lack of response from him and today wasn’t the day for it.

I pulled a bright blue sweater dress out of my closet and a pair of black leggings. I slid on a pair of black ballerina flats and threw my hair back in a ponytail. I applied some mascara and eyeliner and a bit of lip-gloss. I gazed at myself in the mirror, surprisingly pleased with how I looked. I added some earrings and a necklace to top off the look.

I sat down on the couch, pulling out my phone and playing Tetris to pass the time. I didn’t have long to wait until some melodic taps sounded out on my door. I opened it to see Denise wearing a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a red silk peasant blouse. She wore quite a bit of makeup and was smiling brightly. She was my parent’s age but looked entirely too young… she reminded me a lot of my mom with her young spirit.

“Hey!” she said excitedly. “You didn’t tell me you had quite the hunk of a man living in your building!”

I looked at her questioningly. “There’s a good looking guy living in this dump?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “He was gorgeous. I assume he lives here; he was sitting on the front steps of the building. He was your age too.” She winked playfully. “Only you wouldn’t notice him.”

I shook my head. “Yeah well only you would be checking out a guy young enough to be your son while your date waits in the car.”

She faked shock and let out an exaggerated gasp before laughing. “True,” she said with a shrug. I locked up the apartment and we headed down the stairs.

“How old is this guy I’m going out with anyway? I mean, you said he’s your guys’ brother, isn’t he like 40?” I asked. I hadn’t bothered to consider that before now.

“Oh, no, he’s your age. Their parents decided to start new and have another baby when Josh started college.”

I felt slightly better but still a bit uncomfortable about going on a date. “Okay,” I said, unsure really of what else to say.

We exited the building and she sighed. “Well boo, gorgeous guy is gone,” she said looking around. “Anyway, speaking of this dump, have you thought about moving? There are some great apartments in Seattle, more expensive of course but larger and in a slightly better part of town.”

I shook my head. “No, this place is doable. It’s walking distance from everywhere I go.”

She cocked her eyebrow at me. “Yeah, well, there’s more to life than a library you know. Next week you and I are going car shopping.” I opened my mouth to object but she held a hand up to stop me. “You need a car, it’ll be therapeutic for you to get one. You’ve got plenty of money saved up and you can get your license back now, so there’s no excuse for being a stranded hermit anymore.”

I sighed, not in the mood to argue with her. She slid into the passenger seat and I hopped in the back. I gazed over to my date quickly… he had hair so blonde it was nearly white. It was shaggy with a slight curl. His eyes were crystal blue and his skin very tanned. He looked like a surfer. He was wearing faded jeans and a white button up shirt, the top few unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up. I glanced down and barely contained a laugh when I saw he had on a pair of tan Rainbow flip-flops.

Definitely surfer, I thought. I knew at this point we wouldn’t be going anywhere too fancy and immediately felt myself relax slightly. He smiled at me, his teeth were blindingly white and perfect—obviously he’d had work done on them.

“Hi, I’m Isabella,” I said after a few moments, smiling. I stuck my hand out to him ineptly, unsure of how to greet him. He was steadily ogling me and hadn’t taken the initiative to speak first.

He clasped my hand and kissed the back of it. “The name’s Kevin.” His voice sounded smug and I immediately could tell he had a slight cockiness about him.

“Nice to meet you,” I said, taking my hand back. I turned to look out the window, knowing already that he wasn’t my type. I wasn’t one to judge but something about him told me he wasn’t exactly an intellectual or creative soul.

The ride to the restaurant was quiet. Every place we went to was packed and they finally settled on a steakhouse. Kevin flirted with the hostess when we walked inside, and again flirted with the waitress when she came by to take our order. Denise and her man were in their own little bubble, pretty much oblivious to what was going on around them. It was uncomfortable and awkward and I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

Kevin babbled endlessly about himself throughout dinner. He apparently went to school in California and lived by the beach, which didn’t surprise me at all given his surfer persona. He also apparently modeled, which also wasn’t a surprise. He obviously held himself in high regard and felt those around him were blessed to be in his presence.

I just smiled and nodded and pretended to be interested, when the entire time I was chanting ‘please let this end soon’ in my head. When dinner was over I immediately paid for my own meal and Kevin didn’t argue.

We drove to the Lake Union District and headed to Gasworks Park for the fireworks display. We sat down on the grass with a blanket, killing time until the fireworks started. The guys were talking about family stuff so Denise sat down beside me to chit-chat.

Fireworks started and we grew quiet, watching. A few minutes into it Denise laughed and leaned over towards me.

“Oh wow, that’s the guy from your apartment building. He’s totally checking you out.” I followed her gaze and gasped loudly.

About 20 yards in front of us, staring directly at me, was a form I’d know anywhere. His pale skin almost glowed under the fireworks. His strong lean body completely still, his bronze hair perfectly chaotic. His jaw was clenched, his hands balled into fists at his side. He looked rigid and to the average onlooker he likely appeared furious. But I could make out his eyes and they were light golden and distressing. He wasn’t mad… he was in pain.

I got up instantly and started walking in his direction. When I closed half the distance between us he took a few steps backwards.

“Edward?” I asked.

He closed his eyes at the sound of my voice. I had closed the rest of the distance and was close enough that I could reach out and almost touch him.

I reached my hand up instinctively, wanting to feel him. But I blinked and when my eyes reopened, he was gone.

“Bella.” His velvet voice was faint, barely a whisper.

“Edward?” I looked around frantically for him, but he was nowhere to be found. “Edward?!” I said again, louder this time.

Someone clasped my shoulder and I yelped in surprise, swinging around. Denise looked at me, stunned. “You okay, Is?” she asked, obviously concerned.

“Uh, yeah,” I answered, looking over her shoulder into the crowd.

“You knew him after all, didn’t you?” she asked.

I nodded sadly, resigned. He really was gone. “Yeah, I knew him. His name is Edward.”

She gasped in shock. “You mean, THE Edward?”

I nodded. She knew all about him, including my delusional period where I saw him when he really wasn’t there. She must’ve been thinking about the same thing, because upon glancing at my troubled face she gasped again. “I saw him, Isabella. He really was here.”

I nodded again. She linked her arm in mine and led me back to the blanket where we had been sitting. We finished watching the fireworks in silence. The ride home was equally as quiet, and Denise walked me to my apartment door.

“I’m guessing he doesn’t live in the building but knew you did, which is why he was sitting on the front steps,” she said. I sighed.

“Yeah.” I didn’t know what else to say to explain the situation to her, as I was confused about it myself.

“Anyway, we are seriously going car shopping this week. I’ll be in touch.” I nodded and turned to enter my apartment. I shut and locked the door behind me and kicked off my shoes.

I laid on the couch, not in the mood to walk the 20 feet to my bedroom, and drifted off to sleep.