Ch 37 - See the Light

I crossed the desert
Reaching higher ground
Then I pound the pavement
To take the liars down
But it's gone forever
But never too late
Where the ever-after
Is in the hands of fate
I just want to see the light
I don't want to lose my sight
I just want to see the light
I need to know what's worth the fight

“See The Light” – Green Day

Edward POV

We stood in the small clearing, anxiously waiting. My family stood beside me forming a line, and the wolves were scattered in the trees beside and behind us. We could hear them in the distance, their growls and snarls ringing out. Most of them were obviously very new, a few months at the most. Their minds were filled with nothing but thoughts of killing, their bloodlust overpowering them. They’d be simple to take out—newborns were distracted and had one-track minds, especially when they were as young as these.

Emmett was shaking excitedly with anticipation, Jasper’s mind running through scenarios. Rose was infuriated, Alice optimistic, Esme concerned and Carlisle… well, as always Carlisle was completely calm.

Me? I was fighting to clear my mind, fighting to focus. But I couldn’t stop worrying about Bella, thinking about her. She was likely more nervous and afraid than we were, and we were the ones in the line of fire.

The wolves were excited, anticipating tearing vampires to shreds. If they weren’t on our side, I would’ve been disturbed about it but as it was, I was happy about their thirst for destruction.

Jacob’s mind occasionally slipped to thoughts of Bella, which would immediately make me think of her again. He’d push the thoughts away quickly, knowing I could hear them, but it was evident he was worried about her. He was a crude creature, utterly immature and dangerous, but he genuinely cared about Bella—that much was clear. He had a horrible way of showing it though.

We prepared as the vampires approached the clearing, attacking the moment they stepped from the tree line. They were startled, completely caught off guard because of their age and panicked. They made mistakes, fatal ones, and as my family and the wolves attacked they were taken down fairly easily.

I scanned the battle quickly, trying to locate Victoria. She would’ve sensed us in advance because of her experience. I couldn’t find her but I knew she was here. I heard her thoughts ring out, heard her callous mental voice.

I was distracted in my search for Victoria by a newborn lunging at me. I crouched and growled, the monster inside of me springing forward and taking control. I was doing this for Bella. These vile creatures had to be destroyed, for her.

I attacked, biting and gnawing and dismembering. I wanted to look for Victoria, wanted to locate the other vampire who had been tracking Bella, knowing they’d be slightly older. But I couldn’t allow myself to be distracted from what was right in front of me and get myself hurt having a one-track mind for revenge.

Someone started a fire and we started throwing vampire parts into it as they accumulated. After I took the newborn out that lunged at me, I scanned around trying to locate Victoria. My family was faring well, all of them unscathed, and the wolves were easily holding their own. I didn’t see anyone fighting Victoria and knew she wouldn’t have gone down yet without me knowing.

I smelled the other vampire, the one that had been at her apartment. Little Alice had just ripped his head off and I smiled.

I started to panic, wondering where Victoria got to, when a faint howling in the distance caused me to freeze. The wolves froze along with me, their thoughts simultaneously ringing through my head, confirming what I thought it was.

Seth, on guard at Billy’s house, was raising the alarm. I probed through their minds quickly when the name rang out in Jacob’s mind, causing fear to swell through me: Bella.

I knew immediately where Victoria had gone.

Jacob had departed instantly, was already making his way in that direction. I set off after him, not far behind him. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me and caught up to him as we neared the property, passing him. I was raged, frantic, desperate—the monster was loose, swearing vengeance and out for blood.

The moment I hit the tree line, I hesitated and froze abruptly, coming to a screeching halt. Seth was battling a newborn and Victoria stood a few yards away, hovering over Bella’s quivering form.

It took every ounce of control I had not to move and I hated myself for it, hated not being able to allow the monster to continue raging. Jacob flew past me, not hesitating in the least and lunged straight for Victoria as she prepared to attack Bella. Jacob leapt over Bella and slammed into Victoria, sending her flying backwards. They started rolling around, fighting, growling and snarling.

And all I could do was stand there, frozen in spot, trying to contain myself.

Bella was bleeding. I smelled it the moment I hit the property, the scent filtering through me, calling out to me. It was succulent, intoxicating. The monster in me screamed out for it, wanting it, needing to taste it. I stopped myself, forcing myself to stop breathing and stand still, trying to contain myself. I couldn’t go to her while I was out of control--it was too dangerous.

And my hesitation could’ve cost Bella her life, if it weren’t for Jacob. Bella stayed quivering on the ground, the sight of her paining me, breaking me. My bloodlust waned a bit and I was able to walk forward cautiously. I crouched down and touched her, preparing to pick her up. She screamed and I flinched back. Blood soaked her back and ran onto my arm, spilling out onto my shirt as I cradled her in my arms. I told her it was okay and she opened her eyes, startled. There was relief evident in her eyes when she saw me. I was fighting for control still, I wasn’t breathing so I couldn’t smell the blood, but I could see it and feel it on my skin. I was shaking but kept my eyes locked on hers, trying to ignore everything but those gorgeous chocolate brown pools of emotion.

She realized Jacob Black was fighting Victoria and seemed caught off guard. Moments later my family appeared. Jasper smelled the blood instantly and took off in the other direction thankfully, forcing himself away. Carlisle approached me and took Bella from my arms. I tried to fight him on it, not wanting to let her go, but he saw how much I was struggling and mentally promised me he’d take care of her, telling me to go assist Jacob. Carlisle ran her inside Billy’s house and I allowed myself to take another breath finally. Her blood was on me and I could still smell it, but she wasn’t in danger from me anymore. It burned my throat and my body yearned for it still, but if anything it just doubled my rage. I lunged after Victoria, who was still standing, and gripped her neck with my teeth immediately, gnawing at her.

Emmett started a fire and as we dismembered Victoria we tossed her into it. Seth picked up the pieces of the newborn he’d dismembered, proudly tossing it onto the fire. We all stood back and watched as the flames destroyed the pieces, turning them to ash.

Carlisle came out a few minutes later, wearing a too-large plaid T-Shirt that obviously belonged to Billy. Carlisle tossed his shirt and what looked to be Bella’s shirt on the fire. I pulled mine off and tossed it also. All three shirts had been soaked with Bella’s blood.

She’ll be okay, Carlisle said silently. I turned to him, raising my eyebrows. Nothing broken thankfully, some bruised rips and her back was ripped open, but she’ll heal fine. I stopped the bleeding and sewed her up quickly with a needle and thread and Billy gave her a painkiller.

I nodded. “Thanks,” I said softly, “for everything.” He smiled and clasped me on the shoulder, squeezing.

“That’s what family is for, son.”

All of the wolves appeared finally, some returning to human form but others retaining their wolf form, uneasy about our presence. Billy came out of the house and Sam approached us in human form. Carlisle sighed and turned to them, smiling.

“I know we’ve entered your property, and I certainly apologize for that. I hope you don’t consider this as a violation of the treaty.”

Billy glanced at Sam, and Sam shook his head lightly. “It’s fine,” he said, “understandable, given the situation. ”

Jacob groaned loudly behind me and I smiled lightly. He was still itching to fight me and had been hoping Sam would give him the green light. Sam shot Jacob a look, causing Jacob to turn and storm off.

Carlisle nodded. “We should be going,” he said. I glanced back into the fire, which was starting to die out. There was nothing left but ash and some charred material from the clothing. I nodded.

“I’ll get Bella,” I said. Alice had already departed to go after Jasper. Emmett and Rose turned and started sprinting away. Esme hung around waiting on Carlisle while I turned and started for the house.

“You’re not taking her!” a voice bellowed from the trees. I swung my head in that direction and made out Jacob’s form.

“I’m certainly not leaving her here,” I said coolly. Jacob started shaking his head furiously.

“This is the safest place for her, she belongs here,” he said.

I laughed bitterly. “Where she belongs is with me, dog.”

That set him off. He started shaking with rage, hunching over in preparation of phasing. He took a few steps forward quickly as his instincts took over and he exploded into a ball of fur, shreds of his clothes flying everywhere.

I crouched and snarled, prepared to fight him. I didn’t want to hurt Jacob, as he had saved Bella more than once, but I wouldn’t just allow him to attack me. I would protect myself and if that brought about his destruction, so be it.

“NO!” Sam yelled, running in our direction. He phased quickly, busting into wolf form and sending the tattered remains of his clothing scattering. Jacob stopped immediately, mid step. Sam growled and approached him. Jacob hesitated but took a few steps backward. Sam was forbidding him to attack, ordering him to retreat, and Jacob was furious.

Sam shot a glance in my direction as I relaxed my stance. I turned and headed back toward the house. Billy sat in the doorway and hesitated briefly, but wheeled to the side after a moment to allow me to enter. I thanked him and walked into the living room.

I gasped when I spotted Bella lying on the couch. She looked so fragile, so broken. She was curled up into a ball, wearing a shirt so large it nearly smothered her. As soon as I approached her I recoil back instantly, the scent rolling off of it disgusting. It was Jacob’s shirt—she was wearing that mongrels clothes.

I tried to ignore the stench and scooped her up into my arms quickly. Her heart was pounding strong, her breathing slightly shaky. Her body was limp and melted into my chest as I cradled her—she was out cold.

I nodded once at Billy as I walked past him with Bella. Jacob was standing on the porch, back in human form, glaring at me as I exited. “This isn’t right,” he nearly growled.

“Son, you have to let her go. She made her choice a long time ago,” Billy said softly. Jacob shot him an incredulous look, shaking his head. He stormed past us, into the house. He started banging things around, destroying property out of rage. His thoughts were frantic—he was heartbroken.

I hesitated, considering saying something, but thought better of it. I turned and walked off the porch holding Bella, heading to where Carlisle stood.

We took off into the woods instantly, running in the direction of the house. I was as gentle with Bella as I could be, making sure not to jolt her. We arrived home after a few minutes and I brought Bella inside. Rose scrunched up her nose, looking appalled.

“You’ve got to take that shirt off of her, the stench is horrible,” she nearly growled. I nodded in agreement. I walked up the stairs quickly, taking Bella into the bedroom.

I laid her down on the bed and grabbed a shirt from my closet. I hesitated, unsure. Up until this point I’ve never seen Bella without a shirt on and I felt slightly uncomfortable, stripping her.

Do you want me to do it, Edward? Alice asked silently from the doorway behind me. I nodded after a moment, resigned. I tossed Alice the shirt, turning and walking out into the hallway. I tried to block Alice’s mind so not to accidentally see. It was so trivial, it was just skin, but it felt wrong. If I saw Bella’s body, I wanted it to be because it was consensual, because Bella wanted to show me.

Alice came out a moment later, holding Jacob’s shirt away from her body, pinching her nose. I chuckled. I’ll go burn this, she thought. I nodded and thanked her.

I shut the door to the bedroom behind me as I entered. Bella was on her stomach, still out cold. I slid into the bed beside her and inhaled deeply. I smiled--she smelled like a mixture of herself and me now. I could still pick up traces of her blood, coming from her wound and the leftover blood that had seeped into my skin when I cradled her. I needed to shower and get it off but it could wait. The scent wasn’t that difficult to ignore.

It was finally over. Victoria and her slew of vampire’s were destroyed, never to bother us again. I was a little uncertain of what the future held, but I knew in some way it would hold Bella. I’d been staying in her apartment because of the danger—would she still want me there, now that it was safe? I had no idea what she wanted from me. At one time she had sworn she wanted forever with me, eternity, and nearly begged me to give her immortality. I refused to end her life and still didn’t want to, but would she still want that? Would she still desire an eternity with me? Could I really stay with Bella and watch her grow old and someday die? I always swore I would, always swore that was how it was supposed to be. But could I really do that? I was selfish, there was no doubt about it. Would my selfishness seriously allow me to only have a few decades with her, when the prospect of eternity was out there? I doubted it now. Doubted I could ever allow such a beautiful creature to perish from the earth, ever.

But I never wanted to steal her soul from her. That was unforgivable, because Bella had the purest most beautiful soul ever. I wanted to believe Carlisle that we retained our soul after the change but it was hard—especially when coming up against people like James and Victoria. It was clear as day that they were vile soulless creatures.

What if my selfishness turned Bella into that? It wasn’t right.