Ch 58 - Fourty Two

Those who are dead
Are not dead
They're just living in my head
And since I fell
For that spell
I am living them as well
Time is so short
And I'm sure
There must be something more

“42” – Coldplay

I’d always thought Tyler’s disappearance was linked to the supernatural, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be her.

The moment he spoke of the red-haired woman, I knew it was Victoria. She used Tyler in her sick and twisted game. His mind and body was poisoned, her vileness pushing him to the edge. He blamed me for all of it, and I guess in a way it was my fault. Even as a pile of ash, Victoria was still managing to enact her revenge.

I was trying to be brave but I was frightened. I could feel the gun shaking against my forehead. My mind was running rampant and I knew Tyler was speaking but I couldn’t quite grasp what he was asking. All I could think about was the fact that I’d never see Edward again. I’d never get to move into the new house, never get to go to school and get married. My future was disappearing before my eyes, all of my hopes and dreams going swirling down the drain. Maybe I deserved it, but that didn’t make the knowledge hurt any less. I was at the end of the line, facing death at the end of the cold metal barrel of a gun.

Tyler yelled at me again, pissed that I hadn’t answered his question. He shoved his gun into my head harder, forcing me to look at him. He was asking about James, asking if I killed him.

Tyler ranted on and movement behind him caught my attention. I glanced up and saw Edward, gasping. The moment my eyes lay on him hope surged through me—he was here to save me. Tyler swung around and pointed his gun at Edward, startled. I was watching cautiously and noticed Edward’s head subtly nod at me. I started inching away slowly, doing my best not to make any sudden movements.

Edward was practically taunting Tyler, telling him to shoot him. I knew bullets couldn’t hurt Edward but it startled me anyway. I climbed to my feet after a moment, backing up toward the wall. I had no idea what Edward intended to do but I trusted he had a plan. He always did.

I heard the sirens outside and nearly breathed a sigh of relief. This would be over soon; there was no way Tyler was getting away with this now. I hoped he’d give up and turn himself in, but I knew from that look in his eyes that he was likely only leaving in a body bag.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. The phone at the desk near me rang and I jumped, startled. Tyler swung around in the direction of the phone and I froze. There was a blur as Edward sprung at him and I heard a popping noise. There was an immediate sickening crack and the sound of a slap. My body was jolted backwards, slamming into the wall and I stumbled. A burning sensation shot through my stomach, so intense it took my breath away. My hands instinctively went to the source of the burning as adrenalin coursed through my body. I stared at Edward wide-eyed, utterly confused and opened my mouth to speak but couldn’t formulate the words.

Edward was staring at me and shaking lightly, his eyes pitch black. I regained my breath and inhaled, the rusty smell hitting me immediately. Realization struck and I gasped. The pain intensified, the fire shooting through my torso. The intensity of it matched the fire that that scarred me in the accident, it felt like it had when venom coursed through my veins in Phoenix.

My legs gave out and I braced myself for impact with the ground but it never came. Edward caught me and gently laid me down, cradling me. I grabbed a hold of him tightly, screaming as the pain shot through me.

My vision was blurred with tears but I could make out Edwards black eyes. The smell of blood was making me dizzy, nauseated. I was gasping for breath, every inhale hurting. I could feel the pain radiating all around my abdomen, burning and throbbing. My insides felt like they were convulsing. I tried to push him away and tell him to leave. There was too much blood, entirely too much for him to be able to handle. He’d never forgive himself if he gave into temptation, even if I were already dying as it was. He ignored me, trying to reassure me, and held his ground. I could feel his cold hands pressing against my stomach. The coldness soothed the burn a bit but it hurt, the pressure stinging.

My vision was getting hazy, my eyes growing heavy. I was losing grip, I felt like I were sinking. Everything was going white and blurry. People approached us and Edward addressed them but I couldn’t make it out, I was drifting away. Edward yelled at me and I force my eyes in his direction. I could still somewhat make out his features and I tried to focus on them, tried to keep a grip on it. I wasn’t ready to lose him yet, wasn’t prepared to never seen that face again. I’d fought so hard to keep his memory alive, destroyed so many lives to remember that face, and I couldn’t just let it slip away now.

Other people started touching me, their hands all wrong. There wasn’t that coldness, no electricity in their touch. I heard Edward speaking to someone as the other people poked and prodded and jolted me around. I couldn’t focus on them, I was still desperately trying to grasp onto Edward.

I lost the battle after a moment, everything fading out. I was too fragile, too broken. Neither my mind nor my body could handle the pain. My eyes closed involuntarily and blackness took me as everything went numb.

I don’t know how long I was out. Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks? The blackness started lifting, lightening up, but there was still nothing but haze. I could faintly hear sounds but nothing definite. It was just noise in the background, buzzing. I felt like I was underwater.

I had no idea where I was, could see nothing but whiteness. After awhile Edward’s voice filtered to me but I couldn’t make out the words. I squinted into the haze and faintly saw something. It moved closer, out of the fog. I smiled when the messy bronze hair and glistening pale skin came into view.

“Hey, love,” he said warmly, smiling. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay, I guess,” I said. I furrowed my brow, thinking. I felt nothing besides a faintly weightlessness, oddly. “I feel kind of numb.”

He smiled sadly. “Yeah. Hopefully that’s temporary.”

I nodded. “What happened? I’m a bit confused.”

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair nervously. “What do you remember?”

“Um… I was at the library. Tyler Crowley showed up and he had a gun. I remember you being there.” I was confused, it sounded so off. Could that have really happened? Had I really seen Tyler? “I didn’t imagine that, did I?”

Edward shook his head. “No, Tyler was really there.”

I tried to think back on what happened. There had been blood and I remembered being in pain, but other than that I was lost. “Did he shoot me?” I asked incredulously.

Edward nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, he did.”

“What happened to him?” I asked. Edward looked at me cautiously and I immediately had the answer. He didn’t need to speak, it was written all over his face. He killed him. I closed my eyes and sighed. Tyler had tried to kill me but I still felt bad, knowing he’d died because of me.

I opened my eyes and glanced around frantically. Edward was gone. “Edward?” I yelled.

“He’s not here, Isabella,” a voice said behind me. I swung around quickly and gasped as my eyes fell upon the balding potbellied man in the outdated suit.

“Dr. Nelson?” I asked, furrowing my brow. He couldn’t be here, Edward said he had died. Victoria and her newborn vampires had taken him.

“Yes,” he said simply. He grabbed a wooden chair out of the fog and sat it in front of me, pointing for me to sit in it. I paused, utterly confused, but he gave me a pointed look so I obliged. He pulled out another chair and sat across from me, pulling his little yellow legal pad out and started scribbling furiously on it.

“What’s going on?” I asked with confusion. Dr. Nelson looked up from the pad and smiled lightly.

“What are your goals, Isabella?”

“What?” I asked incredulously. Hadn’t we already discussed this?

“Your goals, everyone has them. What do you want to do in life, what do you want your future to hold?”

I shrugged. “Happiness?”

He smiled. “Be more specific.”

“Uh, go to school I guess. Maybe write a book someday. I definitely want to marry Edward and build a life with him. Move into our new house.”

He nodded. “Good.” He stood up and sighed. “I’m glad you have goals. I’m confident you’ll fight for them.” He turned to walk away and I jumped up.

“Wait!” I yelled, confused. He turned around and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“Don’t worry, Isabella. You’ll be okay,” he said nodding. He smiled brightly. “Goodbye.”

I watched as he strode off into the fog, disappearing. I stared at the blankness for a while, the spot where he had gone, wondering if he’d come back. I groaned after a moment, giving up. “What the hell is going on?”

“I didn’t take you for a whiner,” the girls voice rang out beside me. I glanced over quickly, my eyes widening in surprise. “What? Don’t look at me that way,” she sneered.

I blinked rapidly, confused. “Lauren?!” I asked incredulously. She rolled her eyes.

“Who the hell else would it be? I swear, Swan, I don’t know why I even bother.”

I glared at her for a moment and she cocked an eyebrow at me. “Why do you bother?” I asked softly, shaking my head. “I killed you.”

She groaned, rolling her eyes again. “Do you not remember anything I told you? You can’t fight fate, what’s meant to be will be. I died because I was supposed to die, it was my time to go regardless of what plans I had for my future.”

I nodded, clearly remembering her telling me that once in a dream. “Is that why I’m here now? Fate?”

She smiled and nodded. “About time it starts sinking into that thick ass skull of yours. Everything is fate.”

“So my goals don’t really matter,” I said softly, remembering what Dr. Nelson had just said. “What’s the point then, if it doesn’t matter what I want?”

She groaned. “I didn’t say all that. It’s important to have ambitions. I’m just saying everything happens for a reason, and it may not happen like you want it to but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening like it’s supposed to be.”

I looked at her with confusion and she sighed. “All I’m saying is, everything serves a purpose. We may not understand what it is at the time, but we’ll understand eventually. You’re here for a reason.”

I nodded. “Where is here, anyway?” I asked, furrowing my brow and glancing around. Lauren laughed.

“Not my place to break that one to you, Swan.”

Everything was quiet for a moment before I turned to glance at Lauren. I sighed and glanced around quickly. She was gone.

“I must be going crazy,” I mumbled.

I heard chuckling in the distance and swung around. I smiled brightly as Edward walked back out of the fog. “You’re not going crazy,” he said.

“Aren’t I?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. “I just had conversations with two people who I’m quite sure are dead.”

He chuckled. “Yeah but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re crazy.”

I glared at him for a moment before my eyes widened in surprised. I gasped. “Oh my God, I’m dead aren’t I?”

He sighed, shaking his head. “No, you’re not dead Bella.”

“So this isn’t heaven?”

He smiled. “Nope. I feel honored that you’d expect to see me in heaven though.”

I smiled. “It wouldn’t be heaven without you, Edward.”

He walked forward and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me. I felt the electricity jolting through my body. For the first time since coming out of the blackness I felt something again. I felt him, he felt so real.

“Are you real?” I asked hesitantly after a moment. Edward pulled back and smiled sadly.

“What do you think?” he asked softly.

I shook my head hesitantly, dropping my gaze. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. “So you’re not really here, I just want you to be.”

“Oh, I’m here,” he said confidently. I glanced up at him with confusion. “Maybe not in the sense you mean, but rest assured I am here. I told you I’ll never leave you Bella and I meant that. I know you felt the electricity—that was real. I’m out there.”

“Out there?” I asked, confused. He nodded. “Where’s here?”

He chuckled. He brought his pointer finger up and tapped it against my forehead. “In there.”

“We’re in my head?” I asked incredulously. He smiled and nodded. “I thought you said I wasn’t crazy.”

“You’re not crazy. Just asleep.”

“Catatonic?” I asked hesitantly. He shook his head no.

“Comatose.”

I felt a buzzing surge through me again and smiled. “I can feel you,” I whispered.

“I can feel you too. That’s why I’m not giving up.”

I smiled sadly. “Is there hope for me?”

He nodded. “There’s always hope. And both Dr. Nelson and Lauren are right, you should listen to them. You’ll be okay because everything happens for a reason.”

I nodded. “You’re my fate Edward.”

He smiled. “As you are mine. But I have to go for now. I need you to fight for me. It won’t be easy, but you need to stay strong. I have faith in you.”

I nodded. “I’ll never stop fighting for you.”

He smiled. “Good.” He leaned down and kissed my lips softly before he turned and started walking away.

“Edward?!” I called as he started to enter the fog.

He hesitated, turning to look at me. “Yes, love?”

“I really want you to save me,” I whispered. He smiled sadly, nodding. “But if you can’t I understand. I just need you to know that I love you, and I understand that what’s meant to be will be.”

He smiled. “I love you too, Bella.” He hesitated, smiling. “See you in another life, love.”